If you can get past the appalling jargonese about “growth thought leaders” at “recession strategy growth events” (they’re only people, for god’s sake), a get together of company heads in London last week came to the conclusion that “the recovery has started“.
A week earlier at IFSEC in Birmingham I felt that a number of top people in security had come to the same conclusion.
You do wonder if there’s a bit of “willing it on” at work here – but so what if there is?
Over the last year and a half, we’ve all witnessed the national media – especially the BBC – help talk us from a crunch, via a downturn, to a full blown recession.
No wonder there was a “crisis of confidence” with the ailing economy. How would you feel if you were the economy and you kept hearing people say you were dying?
Talking down the economy has been proven to work. It’s now time to talk up the poor old thing. Tell the economy it’s looking a lot better this morning. Keep recovering like this and we’ll take it out for a walk at lunchtime.
As far as the security industry is concerned I don’t think there’s been any need for ‘positive thought leadership growth strategy initiatives’ and such like, as it seems to have a certain amount of in-built resilience.
I don’t want to bang on too much about this or IFSEC 2009, however, as my review of the show in the July edition of Security Installer will centre on this personal opinion.
Frying tonight
One of the unfortunate consequences of the recession has been to lightly fry the collective brains of PR people.
I can’t remember a time when I’ve received quite as many desperate and increasingly bizarre attempts to drum up an angle around the recession.
At the beginning of this economic mess, every sector had to have its ‘crunch’ – everything from the relationship crunch (lack of money breaking up marriages) to the hairdressing crunch (worry causing womens’ hair to fall out).
This week I hear from a PR company that small business owners – many of our readers – are “turning to their dads for words of wisdom to ride out the recession”.
These so-called “Downturn Dads” apparently dish out better business advice than anyone else, says a survey.
It also reveals that friends, family and “particularly ex partners” provide the worst advice. No surprise there, as they probably wanted to see your business go tits up ever since you dumped them.
Still, if you haven’t got a “Downturn Dad” and you want a business “growth pack” to help you beat the recession read more here.
Mum’s the word
Mothers are not left out of this PR angle-frenzy either. Nothing to do with security, but I’ve just opened a press release about the online habits of modern mums.
Apparently they no longer have “conversations across the washing line” (err, probably not since the mid fifties).
Now the average online mum “chats to 24 online friends they have never met in person”. Sounds a bit suspicious to me. What happened to dirty nappies, coffee mornings and drudgery?
According to the writer of this PR there is a “new trend which has coined these online parents Anonymums”. See what I mean about desperate?
Bedding down for work
You wonder how any females could become ‘Anonymums’ in the first place if another survey is to be believed.
According to this slice of PR, workaholics are now “working 2 – 6 hours a week in bed”.
The survey into – wait for it – “Laptop use in bed and the security implications” shows that a quarter of UK workers are so work-obsessed, the only thing they want to whip out in bed is their mobile device.
According to the press release, “snooping neighbours or even malicious infiltrators could hack in to the devices that are being used in bed, as a fifth of people are not using a secure wireless network”.
There is a serious security implication here which, somehow, seems to have been lost under the duvet. Search for it here.
What’s the mutter?
Mind you, according to this PR survey, a third of women prefer their pet’s company to that of other people. Is it any surprise? Move over Rover.
It’s been said before that the British love their dogs more than their children.
We already have an MP calling for the compulsory micro-chipping of dogs. We can probably expect more of a fuss over doggy ‘ID cards’ than the generally lacklustre public response to the National ID Card plans.
And if kids come second in the pecking order, once we accept this doggy database it can only be a short step to someone proposing this as a serious suggestion for our own offspring.
Chipped in the bud
Chipping children might initially seem a drastic measure but isn’t it the logical conclusion to ID cards, using cutting edge embedded technology and giving an even bigger profile to the security industry?
If the Big Brother aspect of this is overcome by a well funded, customer-focused PR campaign it could gain momentum.
Embedded ID would give assurance to worried parents and be far more convenient than having to track their young via a mobile phone they could lose.
As they grew, the chip could be used as proof to buy alcohol and get in clubs, smooth their way through border control, prove who they were online and come in handy for auto vending at university. By the time they were 21, they wouldn’t want to be without it.
I’m thinking a soft PR campaign here, like this one.
On the same subject, you may also be interested in this report on Ten things you might not know about ID cards.
Security in driving seat
It seems that security concepts like sensors and facial recognition are being adapted much more frequently in the wider world.
I see that Toshiba is using biometric facial recognition in an experimental in-car system. The system will not only let you control the air con or radio with a glance of your eye but alert you if you take your eyes off the road for too long. Eyelid blinks could also alert drowsy drivers.
I see that one research report suggests biometrics has “finally turned the corner“.
I was also interested to see that elderly shoppers are to get sat nav to help them find their way around supermarkets (we’d all like it wouldn’t we?)
Researchers have also come up with other ideas using equipment originally developed for security, such as sensors and pressure pads, to help the elderly confused. High-tech kitchens with pads in the walls and floors and utensils with sensors that can tell what a dementia patient is doing at any time and projected, written reminders on the wall about what to do next. These are great initiatives.
That Dragon’s Den moment
The security industry is full of good ideas, although the collective wisdom at IFSEC this year seemed to be that it was a case of “evolution rather than revolution”.
This might have been a diplomatic way of saying there were no really new concepts but a lot of quality building on those hot areas: megapixel, analytics, evidence retrieval, thermal imaging and H.264 compression.
According to another report, if you really do have a good idea you should keep quiet about it until you are ready to go with it or risk it being whipped. Get the Bright Idea Handbook for advice.
I always assert I invented an early version of what is now the digital photo frame. It was an electro-mechanical concept, necessarily bulky, prohibitively expensive, hot to run, easily damaging precious photographs and with no likelihood of it ever becoming a popular purchase.
Twenty years later digital photo frames are being given away as freebies at IFSEC (I didn’t get one).
Take a break-up
Someone really did have a blue sky moment when they came up with an idea for another event at the NEC.
There can’t be many show concepts odder than “The Divorce Show? 2009” planned for the NEC in September.
Notice that question mark after the title? It subtly supports the ethos behind the show: “Break up or make up?”
Sounds a laugh a minute. According to the promoters, half of the exhibitors will be from the legal and financial sectors – no strangers to a lucrative trend.
The rest will be “marriage counsellors, lifestyle coaches, holiday companies and representatives from the health beauty and fashion industries”.
No, I haven’t just made this up. Heres the proof. And if you’re relationship’s heading this way – why not take the other half up to Brum in September? Make sure you get a “lifestyle coach” as opposed to a courtesy coach.
If you’re lucky you might even meet an ‘Anonymum’ or a ‘Downturn Dad’.
